Day 4: Imperfect, Limerick, Enjambment
My fourth day assignment, I have literally no clue whether I’ve done any good by writing this! 😉 I tried writing two poems, but I guess this was the best I found! Hopefully, I haven’t doen any mistakes! 😛 Please be a gem and comment on my Limerick! Looking forward to read them loud!
We all have that one cousin who is PERFECT,
But in my case I’m stuck between two of them, in fact!
It’s not that I feel jealous of what they achieved,
Rather they are the best sisters that I’ve ever received!
But when all begin the comparison I seek, what about those dark secrets you forgot to reflect?
I have wronged a lot, I agree but why
Have you turned away from their mistakes and let them fly?
While comparing and giving me the LOOKS, as if
I have done the gravest of sins as massive as the cliff? All I ask for
Is to stop hurting my parents, for bringing up a Girl like me, sigh!
I ain’t perfect I still agree!
Wow…this is amazing…I totally understand you.It is so personal.Thank you for sharing it with us.It is very sad.I really like it!
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Aww thankyou my dear! God bless you for these comments you have given here! 😉
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Yeah…!
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I mean thank you:)
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haha anytym dear.. 😛
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hehe.. 😉 done with next??
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not yet…
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I am still confused! Completely!
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Really…I didn’t have the chance to read it yet.
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I haven’t written myself.. I was thinking whether to skip for a day ?? I have topics bt really don’t know how to express it!
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Try reading other people’s posts.It always helps me out….!
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I tried but nothing works out! -_-
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Oh….keep thinking…But don’t give up.It is a great learning opportunity!
Check your mail!
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hehe I did.. but being a weekend is the problem you see!
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Yes…..sounds like your weekends are really fun…Enjoy!!
And you can write it later.Do send me a link when you do.
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hmm no the thing is when small sisters are around its really hard to sit n concentrate! 😛
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Yes,true! 🙂
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so see you can relate! 😛
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sabah are you free now?
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I was the small sister…Lol….Yeah I am:)
Mail?
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You have got mail…! 😀
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ahah really? then u must hav an awesome tym eating ur sister’s or brother’s brain! 😛
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Yes I do,But I have a younger brother,So I pay for it too.. 😛
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haah den no worries 😛
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loll
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😀
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Great poem, very heartfelt
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aww thnkyou my dear! 😉
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You are welcome
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But I can’t seem to find your site! Plz snd me the link if possible! 🙂
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This is the link for my most recent poem (my Day 4 entry)
https://poetry201.wordpress.com/2015/10/08/day-4-imperfect-limerick-enjambment/
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thnkyou dear.. will chk it out now!
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Thank you!
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😀
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I like your thoughts and sentiments in this set of poems, Ishma! You’ve got the rhyme-scheme going, and a very nice enjambment.
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aww you are a true encouragement!! 😉 heehe limerick is missing I know! 😛 Not the proper form I suppose.. hehe!
anyways thankyou for these valuable comments below! Loads of love my dear friend! ❤
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Thank you! Well, I wanted to say that I noticed the rhythm and syllable count are what could use more revising, but we agree that those are hard, right?! Giving feedback online can be challenging, because it’s not the same as doing it in person. So, I hope you don’t mind my suggestion about rhythm/syllable count! 🙂
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hah no ways.. I really appreciate what you commented here.. it means a lot and made me smile truly! 😀 Good to know we can have true friends by blogging too! 😛
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You are very sweet, and I love your positive attitude. Keep writing, and keep smiling! 🙂
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aw thankyou! Made my day! heehe.. you are too, indeed! I will 😀 same to you!
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ths is good, very appropriate to me and my perfect cousins…sigh. 🙂
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aha.. I can see a lot of people may relate! I thought I was the only one! Lolz 😉
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how true, I always made a point to avoid saying mean things to my kids, I know how it felt to always hear how beautiful and perfect my cousins were. ha!
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heehe… I love that tactic!. I know But I love my cousins the most! they are truly amazing.. only thing these comments people make might end me hating them, I fear ! -_-
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me too, they don’t realize they are hurting someone’s feelings
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I know.. -_-
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Thankyou, btw! 😀
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Hello Ishma! I love this, it’s so real and raw. You have a wonderful grasp of free verse! ❤️ Now if I may, I just want to share this with you… Limerick would be 5 lines, following aabba. First, second and last lines would be rhyming and about 7-10 syllables while third and fourth would be rhyming with each other but 5-7 syllables. I hope this is fine. Goodnight for now and see you on day 5😊 God bless!
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aww thankyou dear.. I wasn’t able to stick to the syllable count though lol! 😛 haha Aww this means a lot! ❤ u my sister! May God bless you! 😀 Gunnyt! 😉
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Oh I know! I’ve been counting the syllables on my fingers all day 😄 but I love, love, love your expression❤️
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awww.. thnkyou habibthi.. I truly appreciate your comments! :*
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Big hugs to you! Goodnight 😊
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hehe to you too. 😀 GN! 😉
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Masha allah (Y) ; you’re talking from your heart and that sounds great 🙂
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aww thankyou Fazal! 😉 That’s an inspiration to carry on now! 😀
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and yaa plz do post your poetry too.. I’ve heard pretty good comments from some one! 😉
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